


Black Lagoon: The City of Earthly Delights

by BioYuGi, TheProducer



Series: Black Lagoon The City of Earthly Delights [1]
Category: Black Lagoon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Belly Expansion, Belly Kink, Belly Rubs, BreastExpansion, Butt, Curses, Egg Laying, Eggpreg, Eggs, Fetish, Lactation, Lactation Kink, Lip Expansion, Lipples, Magic, Multi, Tongue growth, Weirdness, ass, belly growth, butt boobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:53:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25157314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BioYuGi/pseuds/BioYuGi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheProducer/pseuds/TheProducer
Summary: Lagoon company find several ancient statuettes that have magical properties.  Soon strange transformations run rampant in Roanapur.
Relationships: Rebecca "Revy" Lee/Okajima "Rock" Rokuro
Series: Black Lagoon The City of Earthly Delights [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822468
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

This story is intended for mature readers of 18 years of age and older. It contains breast and butt expansion, lactation, and butt boobs.

Black Lagoon: The City of Earthly Delights Chapter 1  
By The Producer

The rumble of large high octane marine engines filled the air as the old haze gray PT boat motored towards a dock. The splintered wood of the dock led to a weathered sandstone island, at the center of which stood a large defaced statue of the Buddha. 

A shout came from the boat.

“Rock! Hurry up and get that line around the cleat you asshole!”

“Calm down Revy! I’ve got it! I’ve got it!”

Two figures were running back and forth on the deck of the PT boat with two lengths of hemp rope. One was a young man wearing a distinctly non nautical white business shirt and green tie. An absurd fat orange life jacket was snugly cinched tight across his chest, hampering his efforts to tie up the PT boat to the dock. 

Watching her inept colleague was a fit woman, wearing a tight black tank top, leather pistol harnesses, and a pair of denim shorts. Dark hair flowed down her back and swayed in the seabreeze. A bent lit cigarette jutted from her teeth as she continued to berate the man’s inept line handling.

“I swear Rock, no matter how many times I teach you this shit, you find a whole new way to fuck it up. Did you always suck this bad or did you have to work on it?”

Rock had just failed for the third time to coil the rope through one of the decrepit rusted dock tie downs. Standing up he threw the line at his companion.

“You do it then Revy! I’m doing my best!”

Revy laughed, catching the rope and shoving Rock aside, expertly tying a knot in the line and lassoing one of the wooden dock pilings as easily as a cowboy would entangle a steer. She sneered and then spat her cigarette into the water.

Rock cursed under his breath and then awkwardly stepped down onto the dock.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Revy cackled to herself as she walked up the dock towards the towing statue of the Buddha. She called back over her shoulder.

“What are we looking for anyway?”

Rock pulled a printed email from his pocket.

“According to the client, there’s supposed to be a secret tunnel behind the statue. If we go through it, we’ll find kind of plinth with some idols on it. We just need to deliver via the mail to the addresses on the list.”

A hatch on the torpedo boat popped open revealing a mane of long curly blonde hair, followed by the pale freckled face of Benny, the ships communication and hacking expert.

“Hey you guys, Dutch says to stop bickering like a married couple and go get the shipment. He says that we’re Lagoon Company and that we have an image to protect.”

Without turning around Revy stuck up her middle finger and continued walking.

Rock shrugged back with an expression of knowing apology before following Revy up the dock. The gruff domineering gunslinger glanced at Rock with a kind of embarrassed disappointment as he awkwardly shrugged out of his life jacket then straightened his tie.

“Don’t you think this job is a little too easy Rock? It’s kind of weird, like some Spielberg Indiana Jones shit. Just go to a statue and take some idols. What’s up with that?”

Rock scanned the printed email.

“I know Revy, but it all seems to check out. I just can’t understand why no one has come here before now if these idols are so valuable. I did some research before we came out here, and there is some legend about something called “The Stones of Virtue” or something else. I couldn’t quite get the translation right.”

Revy feigned a yawn.

“Fine fine. Let’s get this over with, tonight is two dollar tequila shooters at The Yellow Flag and I want to get back.”

The two approached the tall marred statue, and after a moment’s investigation Rock found a recess covered in debris.

“I think I found something Revy!”

His companion came over and the two began to muscle aside large pieces of broken sandstone, before revealing a long black tunnel. Revy whistled.

“Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised. Lets see what this temple of doom has waiting for us.”

Rock found himself swallowing in a suddenly dry throat.

“Don’t joke about that Revy. Let’s be careful, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.”

Revy cackled another reckless bark of a laugh, taking out a road flare from where she’d wedged it in her pistol belt and striking it on the sandstone wall.

“Ok fine, I’ll go in front. Good thing you didn’t try to find the Ark of the Covenant Rock.”

The two walked into the dark tunnel, which slowly made its way downward. As the two progressed much deeper than they thought they’d have to go, they noticed that the walls seemed much more damp.

Rock breathed out a whisper.

“We must be underwater, it’s kind of seeping through the sandstone. Don’t make too much noise down here Revy.”

Revy rolled her eyes but didn’t make any snarky remark. After about ten minutes of walking the two finally arrived at a small circular room. A solitary sandstone table hewn from the rock around it stood in the middle, and upon it were several small statues. 

“Wow! Right on the money!

Revy opened up an olive drab duffel bag she’d been carrying and reached for the first idol.

“Stop!”

Rock hissed. Revy paused, hand outstretching, looking back at Rock with annoyance plastered over her face. 

“What if there’s a trap?”

Revy rolled her eyes and then snatched up the first statue, tucking it into the bag. Rock winced, expecting a giant boulder to suddenly descend and crush them both.

Nothing happened.

Revy continued to grab the other idols and tuck them into the bag. As she did so she looked each one over. They all seemed to be feminine figures, each one with a kind of tribal exaggerated characteristics. The first had a kind of hourglass figure, with large breasts and buttocks, the second seemed to just be a large pair of lips, the third had an enormous round belly, the fourth had an enormous ass and thick thighs, while the fifth looked simply to be a big round sphere. The penultimate figure looked like a rendition of a hindu god with many arms, while the last seemed to just be a normal female form on her hands and knees.

The lewdness of all the figures wasn’t lost on Rock, who was pointedly trying to both avoid looking at them, but also make sure all seven were present. His discomfort wasn’t lost on Revy, she brandished one then the other.

“Whadda ya think Rock? You an ass man? Or do you like these big ol stone tiddies?”

Rock blushed.

“Shut up Revy, let’s get out of here.”

Revy giggled dropping the idols into the duffel bag, then swinging it up over her shoulder and walking with Rock back up the tunnel. The two emerged moments later.

“Wow, easiest job we’ve ever pulled. Now let’s get these sent off and then, drinks are on me.”

The two walked back to the boat, untying the lines they’d laid earlier, then rode back to their warehouse in the harbor. A few minutes and a short car ride later, all four members of Lagoon Company were back in their combination living quarters and office.

Rock was puzzled about the addresses. They were all for locations here in Lagoon Company’s city of Roanapur. He didn’t recognize any particular address, but knew that with the amount of criminal forces in the city, the number of false names and drop boxes meant Lagoon Company might very well have business with some of those who would be getting packages.

“Wait a minute.” 

Rock said, staring at the six packages in front of him plus one stone idol, still on the table.

“Where does the seventh go?”

He reread the email while Dutch, the owner of Lagoon Company looked over his shoulder.

“Doesn’t look like it has an address,” the bald black man said.

Revy called from across the room, sitting up from where she’d been sprawled upon the couch.

“Oh sweet! Bonus!”

Before Rock or Dutch could object she’d strode to the table and snatched up the idol.

“Whoa, it’s the real pervy one too! I can have this right?”

Rock stared at her, an incredulous look on his face.

“Why would you possibly want it Revy?”

The buxom gunslinger laughed, tossing the stone idol from hand to hand in a way she knew would make Rock anxious.

“Maybe I can sell it? Someone thought it was valuable. Why?”

She grinned impishly.

“Do you want it Rock? Ancient old titties the only thing that gets your “Rocks” off eh? HAHA!”

Rock blushed and crossed his arms.

“You take it Revy.”

“Yes! All Mine!”

As Revy left for her room Dutch called after her.

“Two hands, don’t lose it now! We might need to deliver it to someone later!”

\-------

Alone in her room Revy flopped down on her messy bed, turning the figure over in her hands. It was hard stone, something like granite maybe? She didn’t know. Rock would, but stubborn pride forbade her from ever asking him directly for help.

The round exaggerated breasts and buttocks of the figure were so cartoonishly large it made her giggle to herself. It was so stupid and outside the realm of anything a real woman would look like that the whole absurdity of it was too much for her.

She laughed out loud and then set the idol on the windowsill of her room, the setting orange sun casting deep shadows on the carved stone cleavage. 

Later that night at The Yellow Flag, Revy slaked a seemingly unending thirst. She often preferred rum as her liquor of choice, but Bao the bartender had some pretty good tequila, and she wouldn’t let shooter night go to waste. 

Rock and Benny played darts across from where Revy was belligerently challenging anyone who was within reach to shot for shot contests.

“I wish she wouldn’t drink like that sometimes.”

Rock said, lining up his next throw. Benny sipped at his beer, watching as an increasingly wobbling Revy grabbed a man twice her size and sat him down at a table. Benny then gently patted Rock on his shoulder.

“I know Rock, but what are you going to do? Our Revy really likes confrontation, something you learned on your first day here. She thrives off of it. I can’t imagine it’s something that would just change overnight.”

Rock threw his dart, seeing it sink right in the center of the board. Benny’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Huh! Bullseye.”

Over at the bar Revy was swaying even while seated. She’d felt that the liquor was hitting her a little harder than usual this evening. Also her opponent was really pissing her off, and he was going to have to be taught a lesson.

The two were already four shots deep into their drinking contest and the tall hispanic bastard was showing no signs of the booze he’d poured down his gullet. Revy though felt heavy and lethargic. She felt that her brain was only a little buzzed, and her speech wasn’t slurred yet, but something about her chest and waist seemed to be messing with her center of gravity.

“Fuckin’ Tequila,” She said to herself, shaking her head “shit always fucks with my equilibrium.”

Across the table her opponent leered at her over the rim of his shot glass.

“What’s the matter Two Hands? Had enough already?”

The taunt was like a stick jabbed in Revy’s face.

“Fuck you! You twice baked coke head!”

She slammed her next shot back and staggered as the liquor hit her, it felt like someone was pulling at her, trying to get her to fall to the ground. There was a kind of distant unease, that something was amiss, but her blood was up and that forced away any concerns other than the contest before her.

To her frustration, the Columbian across from her easily downed the shot and grinned.

“You’re losing your touch Two Hands. Why don’t you give up now and just accept that I’m better than you?”

There was a hush around the table, the quiet seemed to spread through The Yellow Flag like a menacing miasma of potential violence. Revy saw Rock and Benny glance over towards her from the dart board. Gritting her teeth she growled across the table.

“Pour.”

Bao the bartender leaned in.

“Now take it easy Revy, just a friendly little contest here. Let’s not-”

Revy snatched the bottle of Patron from Bao and sloppily poured two shots. Then she slammed hers down her throat, before throwing the glass across the bar causing it to shatter against the back wall.

Revy then swayed again, while at the same time a ripping sound filled the bar. Her opponent guffawed.

“Even your shirt is calling it quits puta! Now go on home and let the men drink.”

Looking down Revy saw that her black tank top had split down the middle exposing a sweaty canyon of flesh to all watching the proceedings. Some men whooped in glee at the impromptu display, while others who knew Revy’s temper a little better ran for the exits or dove over the bulletproof bar. 

Bao was shouting something at her, but Revy couldn’t hear him. An angry crimson blush mixed with the heat of booze was running up her face. Her hand seemed to reach all on it’s own towards one of her shoulder holsters before bumping into something soft. Puzzled, she glanced back down to see that her instinctive grasp towards one of her Beretta pistols had been halted by her breast. 

Her anger was temporarily quenched by puzzlement until Rock arrived.

The disgustingly courteous ex Japanese businessman apologized for the inconvenience as he bundled Revy towards the exit of the bar while Benny paid their tab. As they walked, Revy stumbled from side to side, the Tequila having no doubt made it difficult to walk, she thought. When the trio collapsed into Lagoon Company’s Plymouth Roadrunner muscle car, Revy felt a twinge on her buttocks, like she’d sat upon something sharp.

“Ow! Rock did you drop staples over the back seats again?”

She looked down, and another sight made her brow furrow again. 

Her butt definitely seemed bigger. Reaching down with one hand she felt the taut straining denim of her shorts. Even through the haze of her innebriation she could definitely feel that her butt was larger. Giving her buttocks a squeeze, she winced. It was almost like she had a sore spot right in the center of each cheek. 

Her ministrations were interrupted by Benny turning over the car’s engine, and soon the ex-revellers were back to their offices. During the drive, Revy thought she caught Rock throwing the occasional concerned glance back at her from the front passenger seat. She glowered.

“You staring at something huh fucker?”

The loud outburst made her head hurt, and her equilibrium to again sway, accompanied by another tearing noise. 

Looking once more for the source, she saw that the rip in her tank top was even wider, showcasing an obscene amount of breast flesh. The ridiculousness of her top splitting, accompanied with the alcoholic fuzz meant that what would normally have prompted a violent incredulous outburst from her, she instead attributed to the machinations of the absurd amount of Jose Cuervo she’d downed.

Revy spent the rest of the ride in silence, her face resting against the rear window, watching the seedy nightlife of Roanapur glide past. 

Revy didn’t remember falling asleep, or being carried up the stairs to the set of rooms that Lagoon Company shared. She definitely didn’t remember Rock and Benny exchanging worried whispers, while staring at certain new aspects of her passed out body.

When Revy awoke the next morning, she had the mother of all hangovers. Glaring up at the light pouring into her bed she winced at the throbbing in the center of her head. 

“Owwww. Fuck. Fuckin’ Tequila Tuesday.”

She tried to roll over, to turn away from the bright light streaming into her room, but was stopped by something. Her pillow, she thought, as she tried to shove it out of the way, only to wince and curse as a sharp pain throbbed in her chest.

“OW! Fuck. What was-,” Revy blearily began to wipe the sleep from her eyes as she tossed aside the bedsheet she was tangled in. 

She froze.

Outside Revy’s bedroom, Rock, Dutch and Benny all exchanged a look after the shriek of rage and surprise finished reverberating off the walls of the office. Dutch, his sunglasses not quite obscuring the quizzical expression on his face, pointed a finger at Rock.

“Figure it out Rock. I have no idea what this is, but I feel like a man of your ingenuity could take care of it. I’m going to go work on the boat.”

Rock watched in incredulous disappointment as Dutch’s broad flack jacket clad back disappeared out the door, just as Revy kicked the door to her bedroom open and shouted into the shared living space.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Looking around Rock felt sure he was going to pass out from all the blood rushing into his head in embarrassment. Revy was standing in the doorway to her room, her bedsheet wrapped around her torso, and draped over a pair of what were easily the largest breasts Rock had ever seen. Far larger than any of the women working for Rowan “Jackpot” Pidgeon’s sin den, or any other dancer in the seedy city of Roanapur. 

Even wrapped in a sheet, Rock could tell that Revy’s chest had grown from it’s already sizeable E-Cup bulk, and into the realm of custom brassier sizing. Each round mass was easily twice the size of her head, and she was using both of her arms to hold them up, wrapped in her sheet. Tearing his eyes away from the spectacle before him, Rock intently stared at a blank patch of wall while he answered.

“Well Revy, we aren’t quite sure. But, Benny and I noticed that you were uh, growing some, last night. I’ve been doing some research and-”

A shout cut him off.

“What do you mean last night? Why didn’t you say anything.”

Seeking to placate and calm down Revy, Rock raised both his hands while trying to speak slowly.

“Because you were drunk and had guns Revy. We wanted you to sleep it off before we talked to you. As far as I can work out, and as dumb as this sounds, you’ve been cursed.”

There was silence in the room, then Revy gingerly cradled her tits with one arm, and then pressed her now free hand to her temple.

“Wait a minute, are you saying, that these-”

She shook her chest for emphasis.

“-are from magic?”

Benny nodded.

“It’s crazy, but that’s the best explanation we’ve seen. The idols we found are apparently tokens of human virtue which help purge unwanted emotions through physical manifestation. In your case...wrath.”

Revy’s eye twitched.

“What you mean to tell me, is that if I’m angry, my tits will grow? All because of that stupid stone carving that I kept?”

Revy’s voice trembled with rage, noticing the impending outburst, Rock spoke up.

“No Revy, we think it’s from violent outbursts. At least from our research. I think thoughts don’t affect it, only actions.”

Revy laughed a bitter chuckle.

“Well that doesn’t do me any good Rock! I kill people for a living. Wait, it’s the idols, fault, lets just break the idol.”

In spite of shouted protests from Rock and Benny, Revy turned on her heel, swaying slightly at the unfamiliar weight and walked back into her room. Were she in anything other than a blind rage, she might have noticed that her two comrades had immediately stopped talking when she’d turned around; but as it was, she had only one thing on her mind.

The stone idol, still on her windowsill, almost taunting her. 

“No! Revy stop!”

Revy didn’t care. A part of her knew that Rock probably was right, but she just had to put a bullet in something right now. She snatched her holstered 92s from the floor, and withdrew one of the pistols. She chambered a round and then fired it off directly at the stone figure. The bullet ricocheted off, smashing the window, while the idol bounced off the wall and rolled under Revy’s bed. The gunshot didn’t do Revy’s hangover any favors, but what really got her attention were the strange throbing her breasts and her ass.

“Fuck!”

Revy’s ass and tits were undeniably larger, having grown the moment she’d pulled the trigger. She only avoided firing off a barrage of rounds by gritting her teeth so hard she was sure she’d crack a molar. Instead, she slowly lowered her gun, hand shaking, and set it on the nightstand. A cough came from behind her. Without turning, she sighed.

“What Rock?”

Rock was terrified. Revy had a famously short temper, and her sudden growth was sure to make things only worse. Nevertheless, he had to point out what both he and Benny had noticed. 

“Uh, Revy. Your, um...your buttocks.”

Revy turned and shouted at the already pink in the face Rock.

“Yeah! It’s huge! Thanks for fucking noticing your perv!”

The verbal assault hurt, but Rock restrained his outburst, raising his hands placatingly.

“Well, yes, but...ah...it’s something else. You, you’ve got…”

Unable to bring himself to vocalize what he’d seen, Rock walked to the other side of the room and picked up a large cracked wall mirror and turned it towards Revy, averting his eyes as he did so. 

Frustrated at her companions embarrassment, Revy looked at her reflection. Even with her previous morning’s discovery, she still wasn’t ready for what she saw. Her bust massive bust dominated her figure, each tit pendulous and girth, like a pair of medicine balls on her chest, while retaining their normal shape. 

But her ass!

Revy bit back a curse.

Her butt was just as huge, visible around her hips, two globes of flesh making perverse counterweights for her tits above. Grimacing, she turned sideways on, to get a clearer picture on just how big she’d gotten. Her buttocks stuck back from her waist almost two feet. She could feel them quake and jiggle as she turned-

Then she stopped.

There was something on each of her ass cheeks, right in the middle at the roundest point. A pink flesh colored circle that resembled-

“Oh WHAT THE FUCK?”

Revy’s shout rent through the apartment as she backed towards the mirror, bending over to get a look at the new absurd looking nipples upon her buttocks. Rock could see her enlarged rear moving closer in his peripheral vision and began to turn out of modesty.

“God damn it Rock! Don’t move, I can’t see if you turn the mirror away!”

Blushing absolutely crimson at this point Rock turned the mirror back, choosing this time to stare intently at the ceiling as Revy edged closer. With her ass almost against the glass surface of the mirror she let go of her bedsheet clothing her large breasts and reached back to her buttocks. She gripped awkwardly, squeezing the flesh but barely able to reach what were now quite obviously, a pair of nipples.

“My ass is now a pair of tits! This is bullshit.”

Rock coughed out of embarrassment, he felt that if he blushed anymore he’d suffer a nosebleed. Revy was pulling and tugging at her ass breasts mere inches from him in one of the most obscene displays he’d ever witnessed. Roanapur being the seedy third world port city that it was, it was quite an achievement. 

“Please Revy, now that you know, can I-”

The absurdity of the situation hit Revy, Rock standing there trying to maintain some decorum while she arched over shoving her ass directly at him. She laughed at his embarrassment, glad for the levity amidst all the insult that had been heaped upon her since she’d awoken that morning. She stooped down, not caring what Rock saw at this point and bundled herself once more in her bedsheet. Rock left the room on his own and returned to Benny who was waiting on the comunal couch, barely holding in his laughter.

“Well? How’d she take it.”

Rock collapsed next to his blonde haired companion, an exhausted shudder leaving his body.

“Better than I expected. I’m still alive.”

Benny leaned closer to Rock.

“Yeah, no kidding. I can’t believe it! It’s simultaneously the weirdest and sexiest thing ever. At least it can’t get-”

The sound of breaking glass and another curse echoed from Revy’s room. 

“Oh you’ve got to be shitting me!”

Rock and Benny exchanged nervous glances. Any argument about who should go check on their temperamental comrade was rendered moot when Revy once again yanked her bedroom door open.

Benny’s jaw dropped while Rock toppled over in a dead faint.

Revy stood still bundled in her bedsheet, however two large damp spots on her chest rendered the white fabric transparent, revealing the enormous newly lactating breasts beneath. Revy looked at the unconscious Rock, then, grinding her teeth, addressed Benny. 

“Wake him up. I-”

She glanced away, an embarrassed flush finally creeping upon her face.

“-I can’t reach the back ones.”

The rest of the day was a special kind of hell that Rock still couldn’t believe was happening. He’d had to sprint out and find breast pumps for Revy, and “help” her several times that day express her four pent up breasts. Dutch still hadn’t returned, probably for the better, but at least Revy finally learned not to make any overtly violent actions; though she’d taken to tormenting humiliating Rock instead. Benny had refused any part of it, saying Rock was doing a fantastic job, instead preferring to attempt to research more about the mystery client responsible for all the unfortunate changes.

Rock had just stepped out of his second cold shower when the office phone rang.

Eager for some normalcy he answered it.

“Lagoon Company, this is Rock speaking. Oh Sister Yolanda, to what do I owe-y-yes we have. I see…”

Revy poked her head out, watching as Rock’s face grew more and more grim.

“No, that’s not what’s happening here. It’s-”

He glanced at Revy, who had bundled herself in a large camouflage rain poncho before wobbling out of her bedroom and flopping onto the couch with an exasperated sigh.

“Yes. I’ll be right there.”

Revy eye’d Rock, a question writ all over her face.

“It’s Eda, at the ripoff church. They, uh. They got one of the figures.”

“


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lagoon company find several ancient statuettes that have magical properties. Soon strange transformations run rampant in Roanapur. This time around, the Rip-Off Church receives one and Eda undergoes her own strange change.

"Hey, Big Sis. Got some packages in the 'donation box'. Wanna take a look? Could be something important."

"Anything important should be handed over in-person. None of that's important. Just bring it to the back and we'll sort through what we can keep and what's just some junk people wanted to throw our way. I swear to God, some times people think this fuckin' church is a trash can." For a woman dressed entirely in a nun's habit, Eda did not have a mild vocabulary.

"Hm. If you say so. This one is marked specifically to you, though."

"The fuck?" Eda sighed and walked over to the few packages Rico had brought over, finding the one that was marked for her. "It's not ticking, is it?"

"Big Sis, this is a place of God. There would need to be a real heathen to send a bomb to you so brazenly."

"Rico, some idiot tried to mug me when I left the bar last night. With a pocket knife. That was dull. If there's idiots like that, then there's people smart enough to not care about ethics and just tape a bunch of dynamite to a clock to get shit done."

"Fake name on the return address, figures." The hot-headed blonde pulled out a blade and sliced open the package anyway, despite her own misgivings about where it came from. Inside the box was a mess of styrofoam peanuts. "These are worse than a bomb," she muttered, pulling out the object wrapped in brown paper. "This is… Fuck, did someone send us a Jesus statue? We have those already, dipshit…"

Eda ripped open up the paper and saw the figure inside. She placed it down on the table and observed it along with her compatriot. A woman with her arms held together in front of her, with a pair of lips so large that they seemed to envelop her entire face. Either that, or the sculptor simply hadn't bothered with eyes.

"Huh. This shit is old," Eda reasoned.

"How do you figure?" 

"Eh, if it was made today it'd have 'Made in Taiwan' on the bottom. And then a sticker that said 'Made in China' over that." Eda scowled and picked it up again. "If this is a prank it's not a good one. Can you store booze in it?" The blonde angrily tried to open the top of the statue's head, but nothing happened. 

"It looks like it's just a statue."

"Well, that's boring." Eda crossed her arms and sighed. "Eh, I'll put it in my office. If someone breaks in, it's something I can chuck at their head at least." She began to walk away when Rico looked at the other boxes.

"Hey, what should I do with the rest of these?"

"Eh? What do I care? Maybe there's some good porn mags in there. Help yourself," the nun said as she clacked along the hard floors of the church. She reached her office in short order and closed the door behind her. Eda placed the statuette down firmly behind her on a windowsill, next to a plant that died weeks ago and a spider that also died weeks ago. She kicked her feet up onto the table and pulled out a bottle from inside her drawers.

There were several for her to choose from, but she just stretched down and grabbed a bottle at random. Eda unscrewed the bottle, and poured herself several fingers of scotch in a nearby glass. Eda tossed her headpiece onto her desk and took a deep swig, giving the customary inhale through her teeth after finishing it.

"Hahh… Fuck. It's probably 5:00 somewhere but I could give a shit," she muttered. Eda put the glass down and reached for some papers on her desk. It was barely past lunch and she was still doing work, so she wasn't in a good mood.

"All right, let's see what these shipments pulled in," she muttered. Eda took another sip of her booze, unaware that her lips pressed more firmly into the glass the second time around. The trigger-happy woman plucked a pen off the desk and sucked the cap off, spitting it into an empty glass. "Good to know I can count on that crew for something."

Eda continued to work, taking sips periodically from her glass as necessary. It took less than an hour for the large glass to be empty, as she found out when she attempted another drink, and just had her kissers pressing into the glass instead. She grumbled, and gave a lick around the rim of the glass just to get out any last remnants of alcohol that remained. Her tongue then swirled around her lips instead, just to be doubly-sure. Eda's lips had swollen, and now the pink suckers were pursed into a shape that revealed they were twice their normal size.

"Damn. The cheap stuff really doesn't get me as wasted as it used to," she muttered, unaware of the new size of her mouth. She reached back into her drawer for the bottle again, and poured herself another tall glass of liquor. Eda tipped it back into her mouth, taking a swig from the bottle just because it was easier at that exact moment. Once more her mouth inflated, with the tender pink bits pushing out further, allowing them to wrap tighter around the bottle before she slipped the cap back on.

"Ah, fuck, wait, they did this all wrong!" the nun exclaimed as she looked at more of the documents on her table. It would be simpler to just burn it and say they were never turned in to begin with, but with the large amount of alcohol in and around the desk, Eda knew that wouldn't be the wisest decision. Eda toiled away, taking more sips of her booze now and then to ease the indomitable stress of having to deal with paperwork. As time whittled away, Eda's kissers continued to expand. Barely a few minutes passed before each one was as thick as her thumb, and still growing. The bottom one actually sunk down slightly, giving the tiniest wobble when she exhaled.

"Pfff…" Eda groaned as she leaned on a clenched fist. Her knuckles pressed into the side of her mouth, and with its larger size, there was a sizable squish when her harder fingers pressed into the soft surface of her lips. It was enough to push the plush upper lip into her nose as she scowled at the decreasing pile of papers before her. Eda's tongue slipped out of the increasingly-thick lips as she vented her frustration, sending tiny shivers of pleasure through her mouth. Not enough for her to be broken out of her irritated mood, but enough that she kept doing it without realizing, until she'd coated the inner walls of her lips with a thorough amount of saliva.

"All right, come on. Get this done." Eda slapped the desk with both hands, sending some papers around and jostling her glass. With a few sips left, she tipped it back until it was empty. Now her lips nearly touched the entire rim of the glass as she sucked the dregs down, and after she swallowed, they inflated right to the point that her mouth became wedged in the glass. "Mm?" she muttered, attempting to pull the glass away, only to have it stuck around her mouth. Her kissers were pliable enough that one good tug was enough to dislodge her mouth. There was a pop as her plump, pink lips were freed. Eda's alcohol-filled head became a bit dizzy as she was pulled back from the force of the suction losing its pull, and her lips wobbled for a few seconds.

"What the fuck?" Eda muttered. She looked at the glass in anger. All she could recognize was that the glass had annoyed her, and her instinct was to throw it at the wall. She did just that, and it shattered into chunks of cheap glass in the corner. The nun blinked a few times and looked at her desk to see what else the issue could have been. The only thing that seemed unusual was a pink presence in the lower field of her vision, but Eda was just tipsy enough to not put two and two together. "Maybe this wasn't the cheap stuff?" she reasoned.

"Hmm." Eda bit down on her lip as she considered her situation. The soft, plump meat slipped underneath her top set of teeth and tingled. She sucked in more and seemed to notice something was wrong, but only blew out with enough force to make her kissers bounce around again. The top lip basically slapped against the underside of her nose before settling down. Eda's bottom lip nearly reached the end of her chin, and they were both succulent enough to jiggle more than her f-cup breasts.

"Shit." It wasn't until Eda slid her hand down her face that she finally pinned onto the fact that her mouth had expanded. The heel of her wrist moved down past her nose towards her upper lip which pushed out just enough to be squished. Then as she pulled her lower lip down, it stretched until it dangled an inch or two below her chin. Her fingers hooked into the inside of her mouth and gripped her lip, allowing the thick mound of pink flesh to fill her grasp as she pulled. When she realized just how much lip she held onto, she gasped in shock.

"Huh?! What the hell's wrong with my fucking lips?" Eda jumped out of her chair and turned to her reflection in the window nearby. She had to grab the hem of her habit and rub some of the dirt off of it in order to actually see just how inflated her lips had become. Each one was thicker than a hot dog, and stuck out of her face further than her nose. The blonde poked into the top one with a fingernail and watched it give way like it was made out of gelatin.

"I… must be wasted," Eda figured. She'd seen some weird shit in Roanapur, but nothing that would cause her lips to expand like this. The only reasonable explanation was alcohol. She sighed and sat back down in her desk, grabbing the bottle of scotch she'd been going through all afternoon. Eda poured more straight into her mouth and guzzled down a few mouthfuls. "Well, if I'm drunk, may as well go all in. They can't compwain about me nod finishing mah work if I'm too dwunk to see," she joked. Now her lips swelled to the point where it was impossible to speak properly, as a heavy lisp set in, ruining her diction.

Eda tipped the bottle further into her mouth, letting more of the brown liquid cascade down her throat. She drank it easier than water, and caused her lips to swell more around the neck of the bottle. There was another loud pop when she pulled it away and chuckled to herself. It wasn't usual that she let herself get like this. At least, that's what she'd like to believe. Eda slumped forward and leaned her chin into her outstretched palms, which then had to hold her suckers as they plopped into them as well.

"Big Sis? That Rock guy's here…" Marco said as he opened the door to Eda's office cautiously. "You free for a moment?"

"Yeah, whadever, wet Mr. Tie inside," Eda mumbled. The door opened wider and Marco stepped inside, followed shortly by Rock. "Eyyy, Rock, nod often you come awound widdoud da woud one widya."

"Thanks, Marco," Rock said, stepping closer to Eda's desk, scratching the back of his head. "I hate to barge in but it's kind of urgent, and-oh what the hell?" he yelped, stepping back in shock when Eda looked up at him and he saw the lips hanging off of her face. They weren't all that dissimilar from an octopus's sucker. "Damnit," he muttered, holding his forehead. "Ugh. I wasn't sure if it was going to be the same as Revy's, but whatever I was expecting, it certainly wasn't this."

"Eh? Whad's up wid Two-Hand?" Eda stated, slipping around her desk and sitting on the front. Rock looked up and still couldn't comprehend how a set of lips could swell to that size. Then again, before he'd seen Revy, he wasn't positive that tits could get that huge, either. Let alone breasts that grew from a woman's backside instead of her chest. 

"Nothing, I'm pretty sure she'd smother me to death if I said anything specific," Rock said. "Did you get a statue in the mail recently?"

"Oh yeah, dis piece of junk?" Eda retrieved the figurine and tossed it Rock's way. He sighed when he noted the similarity between the figure's oversized lips and Eda's own. "Whad aboud id?"

"Well, it's the reason your lips are-"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Big Sis! Did you stick your mouth in a tub of hot sauce?" Marco exclaimed, the shock from seeing Eda's lips now wearing off. Rock slapped his forehead once more.

"No, it's the damn statue. It's fine, as long as you don't engage in any acts of violence, it won't get any worse," Rock explained. Eda scoffed.

"Waid, so dese are weal den, and I'm nod jusd wasded?" Eda asked. "Oh well, fuck me, den," she growled, punching her desk so hard that a large hole was formed. Rock winced, and waited for the inevitable surge of growth that came from such wanton destruction. But he didn't see any visible change in Eda's lips.

"That's… strange. Has it stopped for you? Revy just grew again not that long ago, we didn't have any indication this would wear off," Rock muttered. There was a clink as Eda moved her bottle to the front of the desk. 

"Well, I'm alweady dwunk and now I've actuawy god a weason ta dwink. Bottom's up," Eda cheered nobody in particular before taking another gulp from the bottle, and another, as the inexpensive scotch filled her stomach. Rock realized quickly that Eda wasn't taking this as seriously as he hoped, but getting to her when she was drinking hadn't been part of the plan. He planned on waiting for her to finish so he could talk more, but perked up when he noticed Eda's lips swelling further. They pushed out, getting slightly pinker the more they swelled. His mouth dropped when he saw her mouth envelop the top of the bottle and worked towards swallowing the entire neck.

"H-Hey, Eda! Quit drinking! That's just making it worse!" Rock stammered. He couldn't be positive, but it certainly looked like alcohol wasn't helping.

"Mm?" Eda threw Rock a glance, and then rolled her eyes. She made a move to extract the bottle regardless, but when she pulled it away, her lips simply sucked it further in. "Mm!" Another tug and more of the bottle's neck was enveloped by her mouth. The suction created by her lips began to create a vacuum, and alcohol rushed into her mouth without Eda even meaning to. Which only exacerbated the issue, as her lips engulfed more of the bottle's girth and pulled even more scotch into Eda's system.

"Ah, Goddamnit," Rock said, rushing towards Eda to try and assist her. He ignored Marco's plea to not take the Lord's name in vain in a church, and grabbed the bottle before Eda began to deep-throat it. Eda stumbled in place as the large amount of alcohol remaining flooded her bloodstream. Rock felt his fingers press into the edges of Eda's suckers as they expanded faster. He had to press a foot onto the desk to get enough leverage to yank the bottle out. It landed with a hollow thud on the ground, its contents emptied inside of Eda.

The blond hiccuped, but the sound was mostly muffled by the extreme size of her lips. Already they were several times bigger than when Rock first entered the room. Eda brought her hands up to the shivering mounds of lipflesh and squeezed, trying to pinch them back into a smaller size. The nun shivered as her upper arms pressed into the sides of her breasts. She let out a moan of arousal as her lips continued to inflate. The top one entirely covered her nose, and began to impede her vision to a severe extent. Its plump, pink girth touched the bottom of her eyes where a few dark bags had built up over the years.

"Mmmgmmf?" Eda's capability for speech had completely gone away now that her lips were nearly as heavy as her head itself. She hefted up the bottom lip with both hands and tried to sound as angry as she could through two gigantic face-pillows. "Nngh!" she yelled. They hadn't just grown out, but inwards, as well. She couldn't even open her mouth.

"I, I tried to get you to stop earlier," Rock explained, throwing up his arms. Eda didn't seem amused by this, and flipped Rock off while blowing a raspberry. The attempt to jam her tongue through the huge tunnel of lips didn't work quite like she intended. Each kisser wobbled with a brief vibration before it stopped. Then came a 'fwump' sound, as Eda's tongue thickened extensively too quickly for her to retract it back into her mouth.

"Nnnghl?" Already overwhelmed by how heavy and hot her lips felt, Eda wasn't sure what else was happening. Her lips being such an impediment to her sight didn't help matters. But Rock could see that her tongue had not only swelled outwards, but had changed shape entirely. The end of it puffed out like a ball, and the spherical muscle became too big to go back through her suckers. It resembled a huge, red ball gag, stuck between her lips and gently gagging her. 

"Mmmgh, ghlghl!" Eda threw her arms out and pointed at the huge intrusion on her lips. She wobbled on unsteady feet and attempted to sit back down at her desk. But her lips were so heavy and obstructive that she ended up knocking over several items on the way. Soon she planted her ass down and managed to make some room on her desk to do the softest faceplant ever recorded in human existence. Her mouth pushed into the desk. If she'd been wearing lipstick, it would have left a kiss mark that covered the length of the table.

"Eda," Rock approached, but didn't go so far as to lay a hand on the blonde. She was volatile. More than usual. When it came to messing with the dangerous women in Roanapur, Eda was certainly up there. He may have been on good terms with her, but he thought the same about Revy and she still threatened to kick him in the balls every other day. "We've got Benny doing some research. We can take care of this. It's certainly not the worst thing you've dealt with."

Eda's eyes peered over the top curve of her lips. The reply was obvious even if she couldn't say it.

"Right," he added with a cough. "Just stay off of the booze for a while, you don't want it getting worse." Again, her eyes said 'How could it get worse?' without her mouth making any noise. She then pointed to the giant gag in her mouth the size of a softball and how it impeded anything from getting into her mouth. The only thing that came out of it was some drool that leaked around the ball gag-tongue.

"That is a problem, I'll admit. Well, we can hope the swelling will subside and you'll be able to eat and drink something else." 

"Mnnngh-gllk?" Some more saliva gleeked from Eda's mouth as she lifted her head and pounded her fist on the table.

"In fact, where's the rest of your alcohol? Let's get it out of here, before you try to just give yourself an IV drip loaded with it," Rock muttered. Eda rolled her eyes again, but opened the drawers with her booze in it. Rock called over Marco for assistance and the two began to ferry her bottles of liquor out of the room. Eda sat back as they left the room on the first trip and felt her lips press down on her bosom. She weakly slapped the lower one out of frustration. The whole experience was annoying. On top of the huge heavy lips and her tongue gagging her, her chest felt weird. Eda scratched at her chest through the nun's habit and found odd bumps pressed out of her boobs.

"Nngll?" Eda pawed around further and found the strange protrusions covered most of her breasts. She blushed fiercely, more from embarrassment than the large amount of alcohol she'd imbibed. There was no way for her to see what was going on without aid, and there was only one person who seemed to have a clue what was going on. When Rock and Marco returned, she pulled Rock aside and tried to figure out how to explain that she needed him to look at her chest.

Eda tilted her head back as well as she could with her lips trying to pull her face forward, and grabbed her habit. Her intent was to pull it up over her head. But she realized that it would be impossible with her mouth blocking it. Her only choice was to simply grab the top of the habit and rip it down the middle, revealing her bare chest to Rock. As much as she found it distasteful, it gave her a huge sense of relief.

"Glkh?" she asked, tongue bulging slightly as she attempted to speak. Rock rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"First breasts on Revy's ass… now lips on Eda's boobs… what's next, a vagina on…" Rock shook his head. "Never mind. Eda I don't even know how to explain what I'm looking at, you've got mouths on your chest." Eda stepped back, and Rock saw the mouths on her boobs open up like they were gasping. 

"Oh, that's unsettling…" 

"Dios mio," Marco muttered. He did the signs of the cross and quickly left the room. Clearly it was too much to handle for the rookie gun-runner. But Rock stayed behind, as the sets of lips scowled at him.

"Okay, bear with me, Eda. I want to try something." Rock reached into his pocket and pulled out a half-eaten protein bar. He picked a chunk of it off, and put it towards Eda's right breast. When he neared the lips, he pushed it in, and the mouth accepted the morsel, and swallowed it down. Rock took a deep breath and then broke off half of the remaining bar to feed it and the other one the same amount. "Well. They can eat. So I have to assume they can share your nutrition and you can survive that way for now."

Eda stood still, processing this information. Rock placed his hands together and prayed for some patience.

"Let me get the rest of these bottles out of here, first," Rock stated. He grabbed another armful of them, as much as he could carry, and left the room, leaving Eda alone. She sat back down, tits out, and fumbled around in her drawer. She knocked open a hatch hidden away and pulled out a small flask of extra-expensive stuff. It was meant for good, special occasions. Not turning into a freak with giant lips and mouth-nipples. 

But she couldn't drink it. Or could she? Eda unscrewed the flask and held it to the side of her face. Since her lips blocked her nose, it was the only way she could get a whiff of it. Smell was 90% of taste, after all. Then she pushed the flask towards her breast until she felt one of her strange lipples latch on. The touch of metal on the new, sensitive part of her body made her quiver, but she still pushed in and up to pour some of it into her lipple. The breast smacked its lips, like Eda would have done. There was a mild benefit to this, she didn't experience the burn it would normally leave in her throat.

"Llghkk," she grumbled, gagging a bit from trying to talk. Drool ran down the center of her giant lower lip and towards the desk, where it landed on the wood. Eda paid no mind to the sensation of her lipples growing larger. They quickly took up a bit more room on her boobs, spreading out as the lips themselves became bigger and thicker. She groaned, and accidentally tipped the flask in again, shooting more booze right into her tit and causing the expansion to get worse. She squirmed in her chair as she grew more inebriated. Decision-making grew worse, and she upended the flask into the opposite tit. 

The lipple sucked from it like it was enjoying a pacifier, suckling and pulling out the last dregs of it until the lipple let it fall, empty, to the desk. Eda groaned as her lipples expanded further still. There was slight swelling of her breasts as well, to help the lipples stay conencted. But most of the growth went right to the semi-sentient mouths that gasped and pursed their swelling lips. They went past the size of good-quality sausages and thickened into pink cucumbers, then expanded far past that until they were each as thick around as Eda's upper arms.

Eda groaned, though with her kissers so dense and heavy that they kept trying to pull her face forward, there was barely any sound that escaped her lips. Her hands grabbed her chest, forcing her fingers to dig into the sides of her lipples. The blonde shuddered as she stretched the lips to the side, like an angry mother yanking their child by the ear. The suckers on her mouth expanded further out with each passing second, until they took up the entirety of Eda's breasts from the front. If one were to look at her straight-on and wrench their gaze downwards, away from the tempting, oversized lips on her face, they'd see nothing but lips for tits, with all the succulent boobflesh hidden away.

"Okay, that's all stashed away, so you should be fine to-" Rock had to stop himself when he came back into Eda's office. Not only were her lipples visibly expanded from just a few minutes ago, but she was wobbling in place. Between the large weights on her body and the excessive amount of alcohol she'd consumed, her balance was terrible. He scratched his head and muttered something under his breath that Eda couldn't make out.

"All right, looks like we don't have a choice. Maybe you should just come with me and stay at our headquarters while we figure this out," Rock offered. "I'm sure Revy will be able to make sure you stop drinking better than I can." Eda slumped forward on her desk, with her breasts resting on the wood, pressed in a way that made her lipples reach up to her massive bottom lip. They began to suckle and pull at the tender lip meat while Rock arranged things with Sister Yolanda to make sure he had permission to do it. Even in this distressed state, he couldn't just yank a high-ranking woman out of her element without proper authorization.

Rock wrapped an arm around Eda's waist to help her get out of the building. He moved as quickly as he could, for her own sake of modesty. The lips would have been bad enough, but the fact she'd ripped her habit open to have her boobs examined meant she was running out of the place topless as well. Though Rock figured that any clothing she had wouldn't have properly fit over her tits with the giant mouths in the way, he'd had Marco grab some of Eda's things. The woman wasn't pleased with the idea of someone rifling through her clothes but she couldn't exactly see past the swollen masses of lip to get anything for herself. If anything she might be able to pull one of her tank tops over her boobs now, but considering most of them were tight enough to show her nipples when they were normal, it was unlikely.

As Eda slowly sobered up on the car ride to The Lagoon Company, Rock put in a call to let the others know he'd be coming back with another victim of this curse. Benny figured that with her trigger being consumption, it was likely the sin of gluttony that her idol was based on. 

Eda walked into Rock's shared home with the others, noting with disdain that her lips broached the doorway a few seconds before the rest of her got through. With her huge suckers in the way, it was actually helping her avoid embarrassment. She knew Benny was looking at her, but he was decent enough to not say anything about it. She looked weird, he knew it, and they'd deal with it. Simple enough. Until Revy walked in.

"Is Rock back yet? I need my stupid udders milked again," she muttered as she walked through. Rock's instinct, which he ignored as he'd already seen a half-naked Revy far too often recently, was to glance away from her swollen tits smacking into the wall as she turned around too quickly for the angle. She grit her teeth and winced, but refrained from punching the wall in anger. Her nipples were visibly leaking, and the tantalizing nubs were just out of reach for her to do anything herself. "There you are. Come on, already. It's no fun sitting on these things, especially when they're making a… what the utter fuck is that thing behind you?" she asked.

"Glad you asked, Revy," Benny said with a put-upon sweetness. "This fine specimen is Eda, and as you can see, she's been cursed just like you are. Since you're both afflicted, I'm sure you're going to be cordial and polite to e-"

"Bahahahahahaha, holy shit I thought I had it bad but what the fuck, Eda! You look like an octupus fucked a realdoll!" Revy cackled and wrapped her hands around her midsection in glee. The jovial sounds coming from her mouth caused her titanic melons to wobble and bounce all around. Milk splattered more messily around the floor as she pointed and laughed. Eda couldn't see Revy, but was angered all the same. The blonde stepped forward and turned to the side. If she pushed one side of her lips towards the other, and looked as far to the side as she could, Eda could just make out Revy's enormity.

"Mmmghlgk!" the tongue-formed ball gag in her mouth was frustrating for Eda, preventing her from saying anything at all. But she still walked up to Revy, angrily pouting as best as she could. Which was to say, unable to make any expression besides the one permanently plastered on her face for the time being. But she could still make a fist. The angle was awkward so there wasn't as much force put into the punch as the dangerous woman was capable of, but she still jammed her hand right into Revy's exposed nipple.

"Fucking ow!" Revy yelled. Unable to even reach her nipple to soothe it, (Rock could take care of that later), she simply swung out in retaliation. "Like you wouldn't be laughing if you could get it through your thick lips!" she exclaimed, smacking Eda's wobbling kissers dead-center.

"Gllgk!" Eda backed off, grunting and desperate for some booze. She couldn't speak, but there was one particular bit of sign language that everyone in this city knew. Middle finger extended towards Revy, the nun couldn't see Revy's boobs and butt-boobs both expanding several inches from her lapse in judgement.

"Fuuuck," she muttered, rubbing her thighs together as her nipples became even further out of reach than before, and the knockers that formed out of her booty pressed into the wall behind her. "Grr, worth it," she exclaimed. "Whatever, truce for now. Stupid fucking statues."

"Good to see you're getting along," Rock said, rubbing his temples. "Revy, I'll go get the pumps and take care of you, just… let me get this call," he concluded as the phone rang. Rock gulped at seeing the number, dreading the voice he was about to hear.

"The Lagoon Company…"

"Oh Rock. Pleasure to hear from you, dear." The icy tone of Balalaika echoed in his ear. "I have received a most… curious statue."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lagoon company find several ancient statuettes that have magical properties. Soon strange transformations run rampant in Roanapur. Rock already has his hands full when he receives a call from Balalaika of Hotel Moscow.

This story is intended for mature readers of 18 years of age and older. It contains breast and butt expansion, lactation, and butt boobs.

Black Lagoon: The City of Earthly Delights Chapter 3  
By The Producer

The stern scarred woman stared at the object on her desk, the phone receiver still pressed to her ear under her blonde hair. As she spoke her left hand fished around inside her desk drawer for her box of cigars.

“It’s a most curious statue Rock, I’m not sure why it was sent to Hotel Moscow.”

On the other end of the phone Rokuro “Rock” Okajima felt sweat bead his forehead, and knew that the next few words were very important. He had to decide how much he could tell the most powerful gangster in the city. 

Sofia Pavlovena, known to all as “Balalaika” or behind her back “Fry Face,” was head of the Russian mafia in the city of Roanapur. Hotel Moscow as they were called consisted almost entirely of retired Soviet soldiers, and their commander was feared the world over. If she felt that Rock wasn’t being straight with her it would lead to all kinds of trouble for Lagoon Company. Trouble likely of the 5.45 millimetre variety.

“I can be over soon to have a look.”

Rock said.

“Is 5 oclock acceptable?”

Rock heard the sound of a match striking on the other side of the line followed by the sound of his conversation partner inhaling.

“That will be fine. I’ll see you at 1700. Proshchay.”

“Yes goodbye.”

Rock hung up the phone then loudly let out a sigh.

Today just felt like it was getting crazier. He thought that it had been weird enough when he’d seen what had become of Eda. Glancing behind him he saw her sitting on the couch. He cringed just at the absurd sight of her three sets of enormous lips. Two plump sets of puckers were sitting atop her breasts where her nipples had been, all but obscuring them with their preposterous size, and her original pair were so large that they completely obscured her head from view. No matter how many times he saw it, it always was strange enough to seem like he was seeing them for the first time.

Rock shook his head.

“FUCK!”

The shout came from Revy's room, turning from one absurd sight he beheld another. His partner in crime was wedged in the door frame, her massive milk laden tits bare for all to see. As if the two taut three foot wide breasts on her chest weren’t enough of an insult, she’d grown a matching pair in place of her posterior; and it was these that were giving her trouble. 

Rock blushed crimson at the sight and stepped forward to help extricate Revy. After some embarrassed apologies and invective on both their parts she was free and wobbling in a very distracted pace around the room. This had the effect of forcing Rock to look at the ceiling out of dignity. 

“What did Fry Face want with you?”

Revy asked, leaning awkwardly to her left, the bulk of her front and rear busts pressing against the wall. Rock found a particularly interesting water stain on the ceiling to stare at while he responded.

“She received a statue as well. It didn’t sound like anything has happened but I better get over there to maybe forestall the curse. Who knows, perhaps I can prev-”

“Rock.”

Dutch’s voice came from the door leading to his office. Rock walked over, leaving Revy with her encumbering problems. Along the way he passed the sofa, and he gazed once more upon which the absurd sight of Sister Eda from what Lagoon Company called “The Rip Off Church,” an organization of gun runners in the guise of clergy. The morally dubious sister was wearing the remains of her nuns habit still, but the anachronistic garb was but a minor distraction when compared to Eda’s physical changes. 

Yet again Rock was shocked by the biggest pair of lips he had ever seen, they were as big around as an inner tube and virtually obscured her entire face. At the moment she was watching TV, by using a mirror canted at a 45 degree angle that had been mounted on the ceiling after her arrival. This allowed her gaze to circumvent her massive lips, without changing her relative seating position. As Rock watched, Eda raised a bottle of water to her chest, where her other deformities had manifested. In place of her nipples, two second mouths had sprouted from her chest, into which she poured a dribble of water.

Such an unconventional means of drinking were necessary, for in addition to her freakish lips, Eda’s tongue had also swollen within her mouth to the size of a basketball, totally blocking her normal mouth. 

Shaking his head, trying in vain to forget the bizarre sight before him, Rock walked into Dutch’s office and shut the door behind him.

Dutch turned, the black man’s mood hidden behind a stoic expression and sunglasses.

“Rock, you have to play it safe with Balalaika. Tell her the absolute least you can, we don’t need her complicating things.”

Rock shrugged.

“You don’t need to tell me Dutch, she’s the most dangerous woman in Roanapur and we do not need her on our enemies list.”

Dutch nodded.

“Just so we understand each other. Remember, don’t stick your neck out, no matter how white knight you’re feeling. Check in with Benny before you leave.”

Rock gave the thumbs up before leaving to check in with Benny, the group's hacker.

“Hey Rock! How are the girls?”

He said looking up from his arrangement of servers and monitors. The blonde hair and Hawaiian shirt gave a lackadaisical appearance that hid his technical competence.

“Hiya Benny, I honestly don’t know what to say. I haven’t heard any complaints from Eda, but you know why that is. Revy seems to be doing okay, but I think she’s just putting on a tough front.”

Benny grimaced.

“Yeah, she is not one to take something like this laying down. You’ve been doing a good job so far though, any word on the other statues?”

Rock filled Benny in, causing another wince from the computer whiz.

“Ouch, Balalaika huh? She’s one scary lady.”

He typed on his keyboard.

“It looks like out of the statues there are five left. According to my research she’s got either Lust, Greed, Pride, Sloth or Envy. No way to know for sure until you see the statue, or if she triggers it.”

Rock ran a hand through his black hair, an exasperated sigh filling the room.

“I really can’t believe this is happening.”

Benny shrugged.

“Just gotta deal with the problems as they come Rock, you want me to come with you over to Hotel Moscow’s building.”

“No, no sense putting more than one person at risk. Stay by your phone though, I’ll call if I need help.”

Rock walked out of the building, checking in with the two encumbered women in the main lounge before departing. A quick flight of stairs out to the Plymouth Roadrunner the company used, a turn of the key and he was off.

Meanwhile, in the penthouse suite of the old hotel owned by Balalaika, she turned over a statue in her hands. She was no anthropologist, her studies of human nature had been carried out over iron sights in Afghanistan years ago, but she could make a few assumptions about this statue.

To the woman who ran the largest criminal organization in the city of Roanapur, it was obvious even to her that the theme of this small sculpture was fertility. The rough primitive carving had huge exaggerated female curves, wide hips and round pendulous breasts; but these were nothing to the preponderance of belly that jutted from the figures waist and touched the base of the statue’s pedestal. What was the fascination with the fertile female figure? Balalaika wondered. She’d never felt the strange biological urge that she’d found other women seemed to succumb to.

A knock came from the door and she set the figure down on her desk, her mind turning the avaricious nature of running a criminal empire.

“Come in.”

The man who entered was tall, wearing a black turtleneck and fatigue jacket with a pencil thin scar crossing his face. Boris her second in command, a former sergeant of hers in Afghanistan. 

“What do you have this morning for me Comrade Sergeant?”

The stoic former paratrooper held up a folio bulging with papers.

“The latest financial reports Kapitan.”

Balalaika extended a well manicured hand and took the papers, setting the folio on her desk.

“Thank you Boris, please be ready to receive Mr. Okajima from Lagoon Company, he’ll be here soon to consult about the mysterious package we received. Have we turned up anything on where it came from?”

Boris shook his head and Balalaika sighed in return.

“Well keep looking, It’s either an honest mistake or a very poorly thought out joke. That will be all.”

Boris nodded and departed the room, leaving his boss alone with the financial reports. Balalaika flipped open the folder with one hand while the other held her cigar over the ash tray and made a graceful tap, depositing hot ash into the glass below. 

Her practiced eyes began to read the first paper, listing some of Hotel Moscow’s property and assets. To her satisfaction, the property in the warehouse district was up in value by an estimated five percent. She grinned a predatory smile, like a dragon surveying it’s golden horde. The moment the feeling of contentment washed over her, she felt a small twinge in her gut. She’d had a light breakfast she knew, and frowned before picking up the report again. 

Their stake in a particularly lucrative online porn studio was really paying off she saw. The moment she’d read the return on investment, the twinge in her waist returned, a bit more pronounced this time. She grimaced at the inconvenience and hoped it was nothing serious; she did drink and smoke a bit too much, and part of her hoped it wasn’t anything as deadly as cancer.

Her phone rang and she picked it up as she continued to read the document.

“Mr Okajima is here to see you Ma’am.”

“Mmmm, Davai. Send him in.”

She read a few more listings and felt the twinge again. Moving one hand down to her waist she felt pressed her fingers in, like she would when she had cramps on long training runs during her time in the Red Army. 

Rock stepped into the intimidating office, a large glossy mahogany desk behind which sat one of the scariest women he’d ever met. Balalaika glanced up, her half burned face an incongruous mix of beauty and danger.

“Ah Nipponski, so good to see you.”

Balalaika liked conversing with Rock in English, as it was the common language the two spoke easiest. Rock’s Russian was passable, and Balalaika didn’t speak Japanese; but English was the common verbal ground the two chose to meet on, a kind of neutral field upon which to spar.

“Good Afternoon. How can I help?”

Balalaika tapped the statue on the desk with one hand, while the other crushed out the stub of her cigar.

“I received this in the mail this morning, and I’m curious where it could have come from.”

Dutch’s warning seemed to echo in Rocks head and he did his best to maintain a curious face, hoping he masked his look of recognition. He walked to the desk and bent down to examine the figurine. Careful not to disclose Lagoon Company’s involvement he gave a competent yet vague enough answer he hoped would assuage any suspicion Balalaika may harbor.

Balalaika nodded after Rock’s assessment.

“Would you do me the courtesy of looking into it more?”

Rock nodded.

“I can see if we can dredge up anything else. Is that all?”

Balalaika seemed to think for a moment, before sliding the large folio across the desk to him.

“Would you give our latest holdings a look? Your practiced corporate eye may catch something my advisors missed.”

Rock flipped open the folder and began flipping through its contents. 

“Hmmm, looks like your buyout of this shipping firm is paying off. I’m seeing a 2% dividend increase over the last three months.”

Such news would normally be good to a client but Rock was somewhat surprised to see a frown cross Balalaika’s face, one of her hands going to her waist. 

“Something wrong? Were you expecting more?”

The Russian woman shook her head.

“No no. I just had a small cramp. Continue.”

Rock glanced back down, his eye straying over the fecund looking statue on Balalaika’s desk.

This might get interesting. What do I do if she starts to change in front of me? 

Rock thought.

He moved on to the next item, flipping up the paper to hide his face from Balalaika. 

“The local casino broke even it looks like. I’d do some digging into that if I were you.”

Balalaika nodded, focused once more on her criminal empire.

“Yes, I’ve thought that they might be skimming some off of the top.”

Rock removed a sheaf of stock reports. 

“Well, here’s some good news at least. Your short sell of the Yen was almost perfectly timed. I’m looking at roughly a 20% yield on that. Looks like a gross profit of...six and a half million US dollars.”

Any satisfaction Balalaika might have gotten out of her successful read of the Japanese real estate bubble was wiped out when she heard a popping noise from her hips and waist, accompanied by a feeling similar to someone suddenly dropping a bowling ball down her pencil skirt. Her normally unflappable visage was replaced with shock, both at the strange feeling and at the sound. Her hand had already been resting on her waist, and she’d felt it bulge bulge outward from within. 

What Pizdets is this? 

She thought, her hand tracing around the brand new and surprisingly firm protruding gut, which had popped several seams of her burgundy colored pencil skirt. Her eye’s met Rock’s, who’d glanced back at the noise of the overstressed fabric failing to cope with it’s new load.

How much had he seen? Why was this happening?

She decided that she couldn’t let him know what was going on, and gestured for him to continue. Rock returned to the document in front of him, his mind racing to conclusions about the gravid stone figure, and Balalaika’s reaction to reports of her wealth.

It’s probably greed, she’s gotten the greed statue.

He thought.

Yes, she’d going to grow depending on how much money she has!

He felt the weight of the thick folder, and realized that he was only a few pages into the almost inch thick stack of papers; and knowing Balalaika, there’d be more profit than loss. Much more.

How can I possibly keep a straight face? She’s going to be absolutely gigan-

“Please, keep reading Rock.”

He was impressed with how level her voice sounded, and looked down at the documents.

“Right, ahem. Your New York real estate sale in Hells Kitchen netted a nice $500k-”

POP!

Rock ignored the sound and continued to read, while Balalaika gripped the desk, inhaling sharply between clenched teeth. Her belly had increased in size by a third, more seams and stitches parting. It felt as though some round hard object had just manifested inside of her. 

“-and your imports of Soviet era weapons into the US has continued, your take this month being roughly $250,000.”

SNAP!

“Mnnff.”

He looked up, Balalaika’s face was tinged with pink on her cheeks, she motioned with one hand for him to continue, while one hand recovered a button from her blouse that had popped off and skittered onto the desk. Rock felt himself blush and his eyes widen as he turned the page.

“T-the-”

He reached up and tugged at his tie, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

“-the sale you helped to facilitate to Iran of a surplus Kilo class submarine has been approved. Your fee of ten million rubles was wired to your Cayman islands account this morning.”

SCCHRRRIPPP!

Balakaikas skirt parted with a violence that not even the most stoic of individuals had a chance of ignoring, sending fragments of dark red fabric flying, to punctuate the demise of her skirt, all of the brass buttons of her top also chose this moment to part company, one impacting Rock’s shoulder like a particularly energetic wasp. As noticeable as this was however, it was nothing to the huge spread of pale scarred belly that was beyond even the most oblivious consultants notice.

Balalaika was breathing very heavily, a lustful sighing that exterminated any pretense at concealment. When she looked up however, the terrifying cold gaze Rock had only seen on a few occasions stabbed right to his core. She spoke, her words being interrupted by erotic gasps and grunts. The encumbrance of her suddenly growing gut, was tempered by an unwanted heat of arousal. Balalaika hadn’t felt a desire like this in years.

“Well, Rock. How much longer are you going to pretend that you don’t know what is happening to me?”

Rock stammered, stopping when Balalaika held up a hand.

“I don’t- Aaahh, I don’t know how this is happening. But I’ll bet that mmmmnnnhhhh, thatha hhhaaaaaa, statue has something to do with it. Now tell me what you know, or I’m picking up this phone and B-Bor AAH! Kakogo chyorta! Boris will beat that information out of you!”

Balalaika’s hand was rubbing in circles over her belly. It appeared to be as taut as a drum, but from where he stood Rock could occasionally see something within move, as though it was full of round hard objects. Rock’s brain was racing. Could he effectively lie to her? Would he survive if he did? There was no way he could make it out of the building before Balalaika grabbed the phone on her desk. 

Before he kept her waiting too long he began to speak.

“Someone is mailing cursed objects around Roanapur, specifically small statues like that one.”

He pointed at the rotund figure on Balalaika's desk. The Russian gangster sneered at it.

“I knew this thing was trouble when I got it, why didn’t I just throw it out?”

She sighed, then looked back at Rock.

“Lagoon Company got one of these statues didn’t you?”

Rock nodded.

“Yes, it, ah, affected Revy. I’d rather not say more out of respect for her privacy.”

Balalaika barked a harsh laugh.

“Hah! Her privacy. That’s not some shrinking violet Rock, it’s a Venus flytrap. Though I suppose you mean well.”

Rock was distracted by the sight in front of him, as well as thoroughly intimidated by how well Balalaika seemed to be handling it. Trying to remain impassive, he explained what they knew about the statues, careful to leave out the fact that it was Lagoon Company who had originally found and shipped the offending sculptures.

Balalaika groaned.

“Ugh, curses. I never thought any of that suyeveriye was real, stepping on your left foot being good luck, Baba Yaga or all that nonsense. But, I can’t argue with this.”

She smacked the giant orb of her belly.

“Now, how do I get rid of this? You said you thought that Greed might be the cause?”

Rock nodded, and Balalaika glowered in response.

“What utter nonsense. Give me the folder Rock, it’s not like being any larger will hurt too much at this point.”

Rock tentatively passed the binder of financial reports. The moment Balalaika glanced down and read a few lines she gasped, clutching her belly with both hands once more.

“Ah! Shulha vokzal’naja! It is! I thought about the platinum shipment and I felt something grow in me! Curse this foul thing, alright Rock, you’re going to help me get to the bottom of this. You said Revy was able to decrease in size a little bit by not being violent. What do you suggest?”

Rock thought for a moment, he’d taken to looking anywhere but at Balalaika, the now obscene size of her belly was too distracting and he needed all his mental faculties to get out of this without a death warrant from Roanapur’s most dangerous woman.

“Well the opposite of greed would be charity wouldn’t it?”

The silence from Balalaika told him just what she thought of that proposition. A moment later she spoke up.

“Do you really think I’ll be able to shrink this by being charitable?”

Rock shrugged, his back to the incredulous sounding Russian.

“What could it hurt?”

Balalaika sighed, then Rock heard the phone receiver being snatched up followed by a quick exchange in Russian before she dropped the bakelite handset back in it’s cradle.

“I’ve just ordered my accountant to make a donation of a quarter million to a local orphanage. That should cause something to happen.”

Rock turned around to see Balalaika looking down at herself expectantly. After a minute there had been no visible diminution in size. Then the phone rang, Balalaika picked it up, an irritated tone edging out of her.

“Hello? Ah yes, well you’re welcome. Think nothing of it. Yes yes, goodbye.”

She hung up again.

“Well, so much for that ideaaaAHHH!”

Rock rushed to her side, the cry she’d let out had been strained and somewhat painful.

“What is it?”

Balalaika didn’t answer him, instead she breathed in increasingly heavy and rhythmic exhalations, both hands gripping the desk. Soon the nature of her breathing and straining sounds made Rock back away, Balalaika sounded as though she were in the middle of great exertions, and despite his Japanese politeness, Rock couldn’t help but glance down to the ruins of the Russians burgundy skirt, where her black lace panties and panty hose were barely hanging on to their structural integrity. 

Balalaika's belly was truly enormous, far past what might be expected from even the latest pregnancy term. She had more in common with a wrecking ball or industrial containers than a woman. The round orb of her belly would have been down to her knees had she been able to stand. But with her exertions she’d spread her legs, allowing her huge gut to just brush the ground. 

Rock had just surmised that her belly button was likely stretched into total absence, when there came a new ripping sound as Balalaikas panties and pantyhose disintegrated, then in a mix of screams, orgasmic cries and curses that Rock knew would likely summon her body guards; he watched as something happened which only a few days ago he would have dismissed as the wildest fantasy.

An oblong golden egg, large enough to have come from an ostrich dropped to the floor of the office with a dense thud.

At the same time the door to the office crashed open, followed by the sound of Russian curses and the cocking of pistols. 

“Get away from the Kapitan!”

Boris had his Makarov leveled with a steady hand at Rock’s sweat streaked forehead. Rock slowly backed away, careful not to make any sudden moves until Balalaika spoke, her voice grating and harsh but with the same command she’d always had.

“Put your weapons away comrades. Mr. Okajima is here to,,,gasp,,.here to help.”

Hesitantly the three men who’d charged into the room holstered their weapons, incredulity on their faces. 

“What has happened Kapitain? Why-why are you-”

Balalaika barked out a harsh laugh, before lighting another cigar she’d drawn from a desk drawer.

“Why am I suddenly shouldered with a beremenaya? A curse comrades.”

She glanced down at what she’d just improbably but undeniably laid.

“But perhaps a curse that has a blessing. Rock hand me that.”

Rock bent down, careful to avoid gazing up the spread legged Balalaika, and retrieved the golden egg. The three battle hardened former paratroopers gasped in incredulity at the undeniable auric luster. Balalaika reached out for it, the gold reflected in her eyes.

Rock hesitated.

“Ms Balalaika, I feel I should remind you that I think these curses offer a way out of their clutches, and to not take it is to incur perhaps an even wor-”

Balalaika stabbed out her cigar in the ashtray with sudden and brutal violence just as she shouted at Rock.

“ROCK! I’ve had just about enough. You’re continuing to live out of my respect now give me the egg. I laid that fucking thing, so it’s mine!”

A part of Rock’s brain told him that he probably could persuade her not to take it. That it needed to be given away, but he also remembered just how at risk he was, and what Dutch had said to him before leaving.

“...we don’t need her complicating things.”

If Balalaika wanted to give in to her greed and lay a bottomless clutch of golden eggs, that was on her. He handed over the egg to the expectant manicured hands of the mobster.

Balalaika took it, her eyes glimmering with an avarice he’d seen from her on multiple occasions.

“Look at it comrades. I’m full of these little beauties. We can corner the gold market like this, I can lay these endlessly.”

Rock shook his head at these words, would he be able to save any of these women from themselves? Balalaika didn’t notice his gesture, too enraptured with her egg.

“Comrade sergeant, what is the current street value of gold?”

Her flustered but still obedient comrade thought for a moment before answering in his typical gruff manner.

“Gold is currently about $1100 an ounce, what does your-ahem-egg weigh?”

Balalaika hefted it, 

“Oh, I’d say about ten pounds. That means we’re looking at probably ten th-hhhou-HAHHAAAAAA.”

Balalaika suddenly dropped the egg with a loud clunk and as Rock watched her blouse sprang open, as her belly ballooned further revealing her black lace bra, lifting the laughing crazed Russian off of the ground, suspended across the growing bulk below her. Her bodyguards sprang forward steadying their boss, more belly than woman now as Rock edged towards the door. 

“I-I’ll just be going now then.”

Balalaika cried out in pleasure as another golden egg crowned from between her legs, it’s golden orb pressing tightly against her clit as it passed out and dropped to the mortified and shocked hands of Boris. Balalaika seemed not to have heard Rock, as she reached down and stroked her belly.

“Yes! Yes haha! What curse is this? I’m rich! I can buy anything!”

Rock stepped out the still ajar door shaking his head and closing it behind him, hearing yet another egg pass from what had only moments before been a woman in charge of a vast criminal empire. Even through the door he heard her joyous cry of rapacious and hedonistic pleasure as Balalaika laid yet another egg. 

Rock nearly ran down the hallway, feeling the pressure of a stress headache begin to build in his temple as he simultaneously cursed his luck and blessed himself that he was still alive.

Then he felt his cell phone buzzing in his pocket.

Looking at the number he felt his headache worsen even more.

The Cleaners.


End file.
